Yesterday, I worked with an editor for six hours. This new book tells stories of people, more than of plants. It’s a new way of writing for me. So I’m praying to get it right.
Yesterday, I felt a lot like the Episcopal boy who got sent to six-hour-a-day Vacation Bible School at Baptist Church. Thrilled by the games, and snacks, baffled by the teacher’s rules like when she said,
“Let's all take out our bibles, and read the gospel.”
And I said, “ Hmm. I don’t carry around a bible, and that world, gospel, it’s not a word we use in daily conversation.”
“Has anyone ever played with an Ouija board?”
I was about to raise my hand enthusiastically when she said, “Then you’ve opened yourself up to possession by the devil”
“Well Darn.”
“Young Mr. Farmer, we do not curse in this place of worship.”
“Curse? I said Darn., and I’m using it.”
That’s when they sent me home.
Then yesterday, I heard things like,
“We’ll spell out numbers. That’s Chicago Manual of Style”
And I asked, “Always? Every number?”
“Unless it’s the number on a bus stop in Korea”
“North or South? I don’t write about that but just curious.”
She asked, “Why do you capitalize Black, and White all the time?”
“Listen Teach. That’s the new way of respecting race, and I’m using it”
“Ok. New to me. So Suck it up Chicago Style. But on this I insist; we will use the Oxford comma.”
“I like commas.”
“Yes, I’ve noticed. Sometimes I think you just open your can of commas, and sprinkle them around.”
Then with one hand, she tapped on her bible. I mean her Chicago Manual of Style. Which she carries around, and with the other hand, she yellow highlighted random dots over, an entire page.
I love this woman.
As a young adult, I had to learn that lots of things I’d learned in churches were not true at all. I had to figure out for myself which parts to unlearn. I want to get this new book right. But time seems shorter now, so I need to learn stuff, and recognize that rules often need to be questioned. My gentle but sarcastic editor is helping me do both at once.
:)
I love good editors... and as a plant nerd it always irks me when writers have plants blooming out of season and not one editor caught it!
Once got in trouble for fixing errors in a friend's poetry... he Wanted them that way!